The other day I was walking the dogs as usual with a fist full of doggie bags. I was soon ambushed by a neighbor, or I assumed he was a neighbor since I had never met him before. He explained to me that he was tired of cleaning up dog shit on his property and that he was at the point that "he was going to do something". Now a few years ago I would have went in to my "dog shit whisperer" screed. However, I recently re-read Meditations and was therefore older and wiser. I therefore simply said how unfortunate it is that people are so disrespectful and went on my way.
Wizard of Waste
The dog shit whisperer screed goes as follows:
Dog Shit Whisperer (DSW): "I sure wish you people would clean up after your pets".
Futile Wayfarer (FW): "Wait a minute. I have heard of people like you. Yes. You're a Dog Shit Whisperer."
DSW: "What? I am not sure what you mean".
FW: "You know. Dog Shit Whisperer. A person that innately understands the origin of dog shit and the circumstances by which it appeared in their vicinity without ever seeing said event".
DSW: "I have never heard of that and don't know what you are talking about".
FW: "Of course not. Why would you? It is apparently a rather recent discovery. You are fortunate to have this very rare talent".
DSW: "I think you should leave now".
Crapsplain
Now I am no Miss Manners, but when did fully functional adults start thinking it is ok to talk "to" other adults rather than talk "with" them? I have heard the term mansplain used when describing a condescending tone from a man to a woman. However, this behavior knows no gender boundaries from what I have seen. Adults talk "to" children, or pets. They talk "with" other adults. I believe this behavior breeds the sort of irritation and hostility that seems to be so prevalent these days.
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